on being a terrorist

a couple of weekends ago as part of my easter (orthodox) holiday (or as the person who made up my school calendar calls it, eastern easter) i spent a couple of days in the UK.

when i first got of the plane, i thought SWEET! as the line for non EU passports was only 3 people deep. but alas, my joy was not to last as my actually going thru passport control was a little long.

dude (i have a special name for him in my head) passes my passport through then proceeds to ask me questions, what am i doing there? how long will i be staying? where will i be staying? etc. now usually, an american passport holder does not receive these questions and wanting of minute accounting of ones holiday plans. before the UK, i visited some friends in the netherlands and it was a wave on through.

He's getting snotty with me and asks for proof that i will be leaving the UK (like i want to illegally enter and stay in one of the most crazy expensive countries). i give him my flight info to return home, then its more questions asking for my romanian id and activities there (surprised he didnt ask about my ovulation schedule). then i am asked to wait to the side while a supervisor comes and speaks to me.

finally we get to the meat of it. this guy never comes out and says it, but its the terrorism survey, apparently because i had some many stamps from the middle east (that part he says). am all thinking, hmmm. . my people (haitians - which is says in my passport) would not make the best terrorists since most of us carry the lateness gene.

I think he took one look at me and thought maybe i decided to find my roots in the motherland or something. i can barely practice the religion ive got, let alone, during my time in the middle east, to have converted to a religion that requires so much work of a practitioner. 1 year is like over 40 lifetimes of regular (as i define it) church attendance.

after answering a number of carefully nuanced (my buttocks!) questions i was allowed to enter the country to visit museums and buy art supplies.