brains just wasting away

even though i have 3 courses i should be doing work for and studying, this is what my brain is focused on.

i saw a pic of mischa barton the other day and it brought this to mind.

remember the movie the never ending story. that has got to be one of the best movies of ALL time and of my childhood. its one of the reasons i dont like religious movies.
1. i hate being preached too.
2. they tend to be boring. they need to get some jet li in there with some wolverine - not superman cause he sucks - and throw in some keanu reeves for me to watch. maybe am not the target demographic cause i dont think that will ever happen.
3. the never ending story. when i was a kid, i would look at the tv guide and see that the greatest story ever told was gonna be on and would be sooooooooooooooooooo excited. cause my child brain always (not the brightest as this happened many times) confused it with the never ending story - bastion, atreyu, falkor, the child empress. i would be in heaven, on cloud nine waiting for one of my faves to come on. only to be driven into the depths of despair when i saw some dirty people with greasepaint and beards running around in a desert about something or another. this could also be the reason why am not fond of beards and grease paint though i do like deserts.

anyway, back to misha barton and the movie. every time i see her the image of falkor - the luck dragon comes to mind. she kinda looks like him. and i mean this in a super nice way, cause i loved falkor. i wanted one, though it took me a long time to realize that he wasnt a dog being called a dragon but was from east asian mythology therefore not looking like a lizard.

and every so often, i listen to the song and dream. after seeing and loving the movie, i read the book and it was horrible. may have been a good book, but totally ruined the movie for me.

when i grow up, i wanna . . .

i know, the frequency of blog posts is mind boggling.

i have just found/decided on a new career path. i just found out about this and am totally excited. apparently there is such a thing as elk calling (i realized there must be for hunting). not only to people learn and practice elk calling but there are competitions. as you may have realized from these bits about my life, i am absolutely in love with the ridiculous, inane, and useless. this one is prime! okay, so now i can learn to do it and compete. but did you know there are people who do this professionally? i mean really - isn't that awesome? i am sure that i could be a champion elk caller. this is way better than the whole International Air Guitar Championships (this really exists). at least i can make a living calling elks for fake.

am totally ditching this teaching thing and going into training.

dreams abandoned

sounds serious eh?

tonite, i went to the Antheneum for a concert which included some classical music stuff, a famous russian pianist, and Stravinsky (guess which one i liked best). the music was pretty good though the pianist did 2 (WTF? this aint no rock concert!) encores.

classical concerts are like great meditative times for me. i kinda just listen to the music and my mind wanders across a spectrum of things e.g. buying shoes, drawing, doing my hair, writing some stuff, the books am currently reading, the music, etc. i wish i had remembered my journal cause am sure the was some brilliance amid the chaff.

but the best and worst part about the show was the triangulist(?). at some point, i had forgotten until i saw this dude, i wanted to be a triangle player. i thought that i could definitely rock it and let's face it, the triangle player is the highlight of any performance. kinda like lead guitarist in a rock band. sadly, fate and my short attention span cut my dream down before it had a chance to flower. its all very heart breaking. but i still wonder if this is a full time job for this dude? do the violinists make fun of him? is there a back up for when he gets sick? i think i could be his understudy. is there a training program for triangle players?

the ceiling of the antheneum. its totally rococo and there's also i diaroma of romanian history circling the dome.











your's truly in front of the antheneum last year

i had a dream

as this is me, dont expect anything amazing.

i dont remember all the details but the dream included:
- ziggy being kidnaped and impregnated by scientologists (this involves the fear from the previous post) and i dont know with what but i was really worried

- tim gunn - the sharply dressed man from my not so hidden and totally guilty pleasure of project runway

- a jelly like substance coming from my nose which seemed to expand lots upon exit (have a bit of a cold and may have had difficulty breathing last night)

brain dead

ugh! i have written 32 pages this weekend.

my butt has gotten bigger as my breaks involved eating and seemingly my brain doesnt work if am not chewing.

now the true horror awaits me. proofing the drivel that i thought was pure brilliance the first time around.

i lie. it was never brilliant

3rd times the charm

this time my absence was not due to massive laziness but cause i was moving for the 3rd time in a year. i absolutely hate moving but i seem to do it alot. this time i have moved to what i think is one of the nicest parts of bucharest. its a nice leafy neighborhood - for bucharest - sandwiched between two parks. the apt is bigger and cleaner. thats the totally horrible thing of living as i do. as i try to remain light on the furniture (but am totally into accumulating other rubish), i have to move into furnished apts and sometimes those are scary!

plus in this apt, the landlord is really nice and super helpful. he lives next door and am a little scared that he and his wife will want to adopt me. i have privacy issues but its one of those weird cultural things that is really really hard to explain. i relate it to a cultural thing but its really a me weirdness.

so on my floor are 3 other apts. my landlord and his wife and the other apts have little old ladies in them. as soon as i was moving in, they came checking me out. the landlord told me they knew everything that was going on and were better than guard dogs. dont know whether to be really afraid or feel safe.

the other day i met one in the elevator and we had a 'talk' which consists of me stumbling through the romanian i know and trying really hard to decode the mile a minute talk. the conversation included her trying to figure out which languages i speak, exchange of names, etc. she also said something about visiting. i couldnt figure out if i was being invited to her house or if she was gonna be dropping by to party. but she ended the conversation with a smile, something unintelligible, and a pinch of my nose. am okay with this if it means she will be stopping by with cakes or something but not if its a hookup with her grandson. i seriously need to learn more romanian.

samples - seriously TMI

yep. its about that time of the year. now that school is all done, i can take time out of giving to others and give a little time to me (um. . . i say this in all seriousness, i think but am a bit shaky on the meaning of the word). so i go to the doctor for the yearly check up. alls good - i go to a very modern center and the drs are very nice.

so i have to do lab work. sounds okay, right/ they send me home with cups and tubes with little spoons and am supposed to return the samples the next day. um. . . okay

next day. things are double bagged and then carried in a yet another bag. now i have to take public transport for about 30 minutes to get to the hospital. cant even tell you how paranoid i was. i kept on wondering: can people smell this? why do they keep looking at me? do they know what am carrying?

was a harrowing experience . . .

then when i get to the lab, they put my samples on the receptionists counter with labels so all who come in can have a view. Yikes!!! totally embarrassing so i avoided looking in that direction assiduously.

my sorta new addiction

the kids at school reintroduced me to this in the last days of the school year - its like non-peer pressure. of course, i had been exposed to it previously and found it difficult then and now to disengage but still i play and play JAWBREAKER. the insidiously ingenious game with pretty colors and sounds. i remember forcing myself to stay up during most of a 14 hour flight from dubai to new york playing this. and now i have been sucked in again! luckily, this time around my strategy is way better so i've got much higher scores which only means that i must play more. its gotten so bad that i am seeing the patterns everywhere and looking to see if i can just click on them. i wake up in the morning and i play (its on the pda so it tucks in with me at nite)

jawbreaker is a cruel cruel mistress. am sure will wind up with some sort of repetitive motion injury.

visions of the future

i normally dont have visions of how students will be when they grow up. i didnt turn out how the family thought i would and my life now is nothing like i thought it would be when i was younger. but i think that i have a fairly accurate predictions of Donny's* future.

i dont know what he will be or anything like that but i envision him 20, 30, 40+ years. he's a really nice kid, but am a little afraid now and he's only 12. its like this kid saw some episodes of Three's Company and decided that jack trippers swinger friend was his new hero. the school uniform includes a long sleeve pullover for the winter. most kids wear this with a teeshirt underneath but not Donny. No, his is unzipped, the maximum, to mid chest level. he walks with his chest puffed out so all the laay-dez can see the smooth birdness of it. he also spends way to much time on his hair. lots of gel and styling almost everyday. his parents spend way too much money on his hair - lots of blond highlights. to top it off there is a heavy gold chain.

n the future i see him continuing along this vein. maybe bell bottom leisure suits will come back but with space age fabrics. i see shirts open to the navel and a ginormous gold medallion nestled in some chest hair. hey, maybe highlighting chest hair will become popular and he'll have some. and i see the sucking in of the gut to puff out the chest and strutting to and fro so everyone, especially the laay-dez, can witness his glory. best career goals should include being in a boyband.

* names have been changed to protect the whatever

wire hangers

the year 7s are making mobiles of the roman gods using wire hangers. they keep calling out asking for wire hangers. i am at my desk giggling cause running repeatedly through my head is "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!!" yep that riveting faye dunaway performance with massively weird eyebrows and cold cream (on the face i cant even remember the name of the actress its all about.) from Mommy Dearest. but feel like jumping on my desk andshouting it out loud while brandishing one in my hand. understand (of course) as an homage to a deliciously crazy and over the top performance. hasnt been anything like it in ages - but i realize the kiddies would be really scared and totally not get my reference also would have parents calling like mad - so i leave you imagining it.

i've survived

its been a week since i had to back to work. it was totally hellacious after almost 3 weeks of doing nothing at no specific time but what i felt like. work was a rude awakening. hence no posts. i had no energy left to write anything and pretty much any excuse to not do something is a good one. i know i have pictures and stuff to include and am girding ( i love this word. Aeneas did it alot when ever he was like gonna kill people or talk to the gods or something. but it is not about wearing a girdle cause those suck) myself to do so.

while i am preparing el pictures and doing all that girding, here are some bands been listening to. pretty good stuff for now. they may spoil like uberfatty milk. only time will tell.

regina spektor - singer/songwriter with somewhat eclectic music. lovely voice.

mew - listen to the zookeepers boy. i especially love that one. music is lovely and lyrics are unintelligible. theres something about an ostrich - what more can you want from danes singing in english.

todd snider - i guess its alt country but these categories are damn hard to define anyway. they just seem to put alt in front of anything that doesnt neatly fit into one.

okay, my butt hurts so i must stop typing and return to my procrastination - though i just read an article about a psych study that was done on this problem - or as some of us refer to it - a way of life
laters

happy thanksgiving!!!

to those in the u.s. - happy thanksgiving. i know that this is late but thats part of the charm. for my thanksgiving i spent the whole day at school till 9p.m talking to parents. not exactly something to be thankful for.

this whole process made me doubt the idea of a meritocracy. i think that i must be super idealistic or naive to still believe in such, but, as i said, that belief is eroding. i dont think that the idea that something must be earned should be a foreign one to people. i also dont think that its a cultural misunderstanding. or maybe it is, with some people believing that one can bargain and a deal can always be struck. i guess one of the problems of teaching in international schools is the socioeconomic bracket that the families belong to. here there are loads of kids from the diplomatic community, the oil industry, but also just plain wealthy.

its a kind of chicken/egg thing. does the school accommodate them because its expected or do the parents expect it because the school is so accommodating. one cannot earn grades simply because one's parent expects it and thinks that one is deserving. if the work isnt done then what is the point? mind you most kids will push boundaries as far as is possible and i understand that. what i dont understand is the adults who are more concerned with appearances than with whether the child has actually learned something or developed a skill. what will that child do when he/she gets to university? what will he/she do when they get a real job? what will they do when they are faced with external examinations or professional certifications?

my real worry isnt this particular set of children but that this situation cannot be too far from common. so there is a whole generation and culture developing that totally disregards merit. i realize that this idea is relatively new but can you have true republican ideals without merit? i think that problems that this next generation will face globally are previously unseen and perilous. how can these be handled by people who never LEARNED?

is this what my mother's generation worried about when i was growing up? is this just a sign that i am aging and fossilizing?

i hope that there is hope for us. and at the risk of being monumentally cheesy - that is something to be thankful for. and, of course, that billy idol has a new album out.

i got some work done after all

yes yes. i got some work done after all. i finished my work from yesterday and like a really bad (insert horribleness here - had to replace the original to protect the innocence of the kiddies) work never really goes away. so today i had some more to do. knowing myself as i do, i sat in front of the computer for hours working on bettering myself (accumulating useless information) and writing an exam.

i spent loads of time researching prefab homes (www.prefabs.com) and other assorted house wierdness like living in yurts (www.vishai.com) and living in really tiny houses (www.tumbleweedhouses.com). heather enabled my poor behavior by directing me to house sites i had never seen before.

i also spent some time at www.readymademag.com learning things like how to make bowls from old vinyl records (am really gonna!). i also learned my new favorite word - abecedarian - which apparently is a description of how i anally file my cd's. only thing in my life thats organized.

all in all. i found the type of house i want. a nice ultra modern (clean lines and geometric) modular house and a new word to describe my self. will work to use it copiously. hopefully making up meanings for it as i go along. my ,that is quite abecedarian of you! or that was most non-abecedarian.

toodles

issues with procrastination

i have loads of things to add but, alas, i have issues with procrastination. i dont know how i do it but am conviced that its a gift. even when i have loads of time staring me in the face with nothing to fill it. i'll find something. anyhoo. i have stuff to add, when i feel the 'typing is loads of fun, nevermind the cramping' muse i will update.

briefly

went to bulgaria - will tell in detail. poor villages sue borat and all that romanian jazz to discuss. birthday party with some people and conversations.

been listening to the glenn miller orchestra - chill and cool

a friend put me onto this dude name john legend - sweet r&b but with real instruments

just saw a storytellers (been hitting the vh1 again) on greenday's american idiot which again reminded of my generation of jackson browne. totally reminded me of the pretender and still does. excellent album even after obsessive listening a la me.

moose nuckles

recently, i discussed the unexplained phenomenon of the camel toe prevalent in romania. because i am all about personal edification, i constantly work on learning new things. on my quest for knowledge, i learned the male version is known as the moose knuckle. this is an extreme example of this phenomenon. scientists are currently researching what drugs (whether produced by the brain or of external origin) can cause a man to a) ignore the discomfort and b) think it looks good. i always fall back to the old standard of crack myself but i wasnt asked to be a member of the team (they must be afraid of my hardcore research/procrastinating skills). i think that its conclusions will revolutionize mental health care for these unfortunate souls.

am not dead. i swear!!!

sorry for the disappearance. had a holiday and did some stuff, saw some people, chilled and . . . sorry way to long and . . after the fact to write about it. went to a jazz concert which was like digable planets but in romanian. saw another band (avant garde or crazy) who is my new hero. she had a ginormous 'fro, was massively scary, very angry and screamed alot. i go the 'fro going so i think i can do the rest.

anywho. i was marking some tests and i thought that this was a perfect time for a bit of a break. its the absolute worse part of the job. kinda sucks the life out of you while you are doing it.

its gotten very cold. i still dont have heat in my house. i dont know if its broken or cause i dont know how to work the controls. sure isnt like the a.c. button. oh well. but other than the fingers am not too cold yet. so am gonna wear the little jacket as long as i can. i dont like outerwear and so i shall wait for the big coat.

got some pics. i swear i will post eventually. am such a tease

yikes!!!

dear lord! the winters here and its not very pretty. it rained yesterday and the sky is grey today and it got to 0 celsius last nite. oh and they havent turned the heat on yet. a rather quaint holdover from communism is the central heat thing. and when i say central i mean that it is turned on by some people very far away who control the heat for an entire area. i was soooo cold last nite --> that Nirvana cover of "where did you sleep last nite"- where the sun dont ever shine, i was shiverin' the whole night through. actually, woke up nice and toasty. so difficult to go to work this morning.

plus this has forced me to commit the totally evil sin of socks with sandals. Gasp! i know, i know. but they are sporty sandals? they are an almost shoe (okay i am trying to give justifications now). the holes are very small. but i couldnt face walking outside without somethign covering the toesies. the were the only thing i had that matched my outfit. but i dont know which is worse, non matching shoes or socks with sandals. hmmm . . .

i am going boot shopping today. i just thought i had more time. plus i kinda dont know what to look for in a winter boot.

sands through the hourglass

so apparently i am 28. i had a birthday. i dont feel 28 and this gets me thinking "am i really 28?" how do i know for sure that i am. all i know is what 'they' have told me. how do i know when i real birthday is? i mean i remember a certain number of years, but it certainly isn't 28. al i have for proof is that yellowing piece of paper known far and wide as a 'birth certificate' that could have been forged yesterday. all you need is a little tea and some official looking stamps.

what if i am part of some huge experiment - like seeing if people will believe and act the age you tell them? what if i'm really 5 and they've done this weird thing with the space time continuum thing for nefarious purposes? what if i've discovered the truth and they terminate the experiment? what if i'm really a clone with implanted memories? what if you're not real and neither am i? what if they discover that i've discovered what is really going on and they conspire to silence me?

all i know is that i don't feel as old as i am told that i am or how i thought i would feel when i thought about being this old when i was younger.

the horror, the torture

I am back at work. Dear Lord!!!! the torture, the horror of going back. i woke up at 3.30 today and could not get out of bed til 7. of course i was reading a book which didnt help any.

cant say that i am overjoyed to be working right now. i think that i needed a couple more weeks off.

sorry to those of you who dont get time off but its like if you dont have time off then you dont know what youre missing. right?

holiday paranoia

YaY!!! was great. we had 3 random days off to make a 5 day weekend. the government decided to close schools since there was a big french conference thing happening. who am i to argue about the randomness of it all? though the school was not very nice and made the support staff work til five everyday. doing what i ask? dont know what that is all about other than torturing them.

vegged for one day, then spent two days in Transylvania. I am Dracula. (gotta say it with a rolling r) from one of the best Keanu movies ever.

anyway. i get stared at a lot. i think they have never seen a black person before. kids are staring. i was visiting a castle when there was a school group there. I swear there were hundreds of eyes pointed at me. one asked the teacher what i was and the teacher just kinda looked at me with this totally confused look on her face.

I always feel like, somebodies watching ( lovely little ditty and only hit of motown founders son with mike jackson providing vocals)

have loads of pics - gotta put them up.