oh Dear Lord! Save Me!

i have seen the coming of the end! and it comes in the form of leg warmers. i dont know why this is a trend but kids are wearing leg warmers. now not only do i have to deal with the sight of the tucking in and some of the craziest boots ever (which will soon become attractive to me - its kinda like a stockholm syndrome thing) but now people are wearing leg warmers on top of jeans! with crazy shoes and maybe crazy knee socks poking out. Why! Why! i beg you, tell me why!

i can understand if your like a dancer and need something to warm the bare legs but over jeans?

i cant believe its so scary

yes yes, i cant believe its so scary! please you must go here. this is a promotion by i cant believe its not butter using Fabio. Yes, Fabio! that hunka hunk of scary overly tanned Italian flesh who used to grace the covers of romance books. fill out the form and he will call you with a very special message.

ahh. . . bliss . . . fabio. . .

cant even tell you how sad i am that he doesnt make international phone calls (Why! God, Why!). i previously thought we was dead or bits had started falling off, consequently making him hideously scary and he had to retreat from the public eye. (un)fortunately for many, i was wrong and he is still around - blessing all with his shirt unbuttoned to show us his chest waxed to smoothy goodness, highlighted locks, and most (not) sexy accent. Sigh . . . .

winter wonderland

the weather has decided to cool a bit. this morning it was absolutely lovely. there was a light dusting of snow on the ground. the streets and sidewalks were totally pretty with little crystals of ice catching the sunlight. it was one of those blue blue crisp and clear sunny winter skies. gorgeous. sadly, my bum is not as appreciative of the ice on the pathways, but it was still a lovely day. am all for sunshine even if theres also ice.

also my head and 'fro are not enjoying the cold snap. like, i never even thought about it before but a wet 'fro in cold temperatures is decidedly uncomfortable. i wonder if it gets cold enough, will my hair like freeze since the hair holds prodigious amounts of water. on the positive, my hair could look really nice, as if with little crystal shards, catching and refracting the light. and i wouldnt have to do any work to achieve this - other than washing the hair.

singin' an' dancin'

Some may have, in the past, heard me discuss my fear and loathing of the genre known as the musical. i love music and love movies but together, they form a somewhat lethal combination (not unlike a speedball but without the fun). today i eat my words - provisionally of course.

I got together with some friends to bring a little Indian culture into our nite. we ordered indian food (which was heavenly though the restaurant took 2 1/2 hours to deliver it, making me seriously miss my Indian jiffy in the UAE) and watched a Bollywood film. for those who aint in the know - bollywood is the Indian film industry located in Mumbai (Bombay) and actually has a greater yearly output than hollywood. Bollywood also specializes in over the top (by western standards) musical love stories.

we saw one called Kal Ho Naa Ho which involves a love triangle between a young woman with family problems, a dying man, and wannabe playboy who is working on his MBA. by the way this is all a comedy. i mean its awesome!! i cant even describe it because it is indescribable to our hollywood sentiments. the singing isnt irritating at all - most likely - cause am reading the song lyrics simultaneously and laughing at their ridiculousness (music, generally, just isnt as sublime when the mystery is removed from the lyrics). the movie is like a combination of Grease, miracle on 34th st, when harry met sally, and saturday night fever - but rated G. there are cooky family members, songs about ethnic pride, blazing intense colors, mistaken identity, a crazy best friend, dancing on tables, a gold digger, and lots of poking fun of cultural stereotypes - Indian and otherwise. there were also covers of the songs Pretty Woman and its time to disco (abba hit). both recognizable but with vastly different lyrics. its great.

so now am all about the bollywood musical (new 5 minute obsession).

actually i would really enjoy the musical thing in real life if the people around me would get with the program. i mean, when i walk down the street singing and dancing, people dont jump in formation behind me, synchronized with my movements. as always, i continue to give all ample opportunities to wise up, but they only stare at me instead. philistines!!!!

the RATB took by trams away

referencing and channeling the the utter and total pathos of the Ramones' the kkk took my baby away i will now provide another entry based on my tram fixation. seriously, the freaking RATB took the two trams that ran by my house away. just one day they were gone! now there is one scarily yellow bus (bringing back previously repressed memories of riding the big bad cheese mobile of suburban american schooling) that stops by my house. and i dont even know where it goes!! it seems not to run the two different routes that trams once did. do they not realize that they are practically condemning me to house arrest since i am too lazy to walk to the next stop? its hellacious but i may have to actually try to implement the new years resolution where i promised to cut down on my laziness. and i was really hoping to forget about that one.

The RATB took my tra-ams away

by me but with a hefty dose of plagarism (pretty much everything but the pronouns)

i went away for the week-e-end

Said i'm going to Titan

But I never got there

i never got there

i never got there, i say

The RATB took my tra-ams away

They took them away

Away from me

The RATB took my baby away

They took them away

Away from me

Now I don't know

Where my trams can be

They took them from me

They took them from me

I don't know

Where my tra-ams can be

They took them from me

They took them from me

Ring me, ring me ring me

Up the President

And find out

Where my tra-ams went

Ring me, ring me, ring me

Up the KGB

And find out where are

My new tra-am routes

Yeah, yeah, yeah

visions of the future

i normally dont have visions of how students will be when they grow up. i didnt turn out how the family thought i would and my life now is nothing like i thought it would be when i was younger. but i think that i have a fairly accurate predictions of Donny's* future.

i dont know what he will be or anything like that but i envision him 20, 30, 40+ years. he's a really nice kid, but am a little afraid now and he's only 12. its like this kid saw some episodes of Three's Company and decided that jack trippers swinger friend was his new hero. the school uniform includes a long sleeve pullover for the winter. most kids wear this with a teeshirt underneath but not Donny. No, his is unzipped, the maximum, to mid chest level. he walks with his chest puffed out so all the laay-dez can see the smooth birdness of it. he also spends way to much time on his hair. lots of gel and styling almost everyday. his parents spend way too much money on his hair - lots of blond highlights. to top it off there is a heavy gold chain.

n the future i see him continuing along this vein. maybe bell bottom leisure suits will come back but with space age fabrics. i see shirts open to the navel and a ginormous gold medallion nestled in some chest hair. hey, maybe highlighting chest hair will become popular and he'll have some. and i see the sucking in of the gut to puff out the chest and strutting to and fro so everyone, especially the laay-dez, can witness his glory. best career goals should include being in a boyband.

* names have been changed to protect the whatever

sidewalk rage

i dont think there have been any major and impressive publications on sidewalk rage, therefore, i shall initiate the discourse with this blog entry. (dude, am totally going where no . . . has gone . . .)

right. i am a nonviolent (mostly) person and recently have become a little disturbed by my internal (mental not intestinal) grumblings because i have been experiencing more instances which can lead to some serious sidewalk rage.

example - waiting for the tram (peacefully, i might add) and just as it pulls up, someone jumps in front of me, alights on the tram and manages to get that last damn seat. i just want to explode - yank them up, scream mightily, and take the seat that, rightfully, should be mine. i seem to be totally obsessed with trams.

example - why do people have to stop right in front of me and so something as asinine as pick their nose when i am in a hurry to be elsewhere? visions of a mighty shove and swift kick scroll through my mind like a really really urgent news ticker on CNN.

example - this is by far the worst one. mostly, i walk with my head down. you gotta if you wanna avoid the dog doo. but,oh no, here come the parking jerks to ruin my life. wanna park somewhere where there are no spots? why not just jump the curb and leave your SUV on the sidewalk (narrow) which i need to use in order to avoid the traffic on a fairly busy road?

so i squeeze by the SUV with my mind more on the squeezing than the walking, only to step away with huge globs of incredibly fresh, soft, and odoriferous dog doo. EFFING A man! the stuff works its way into all of the nooks and crannies on the underside of my shoe. to make matters worse, i had just bought the shoes and this was the first time, the FIRST time - i tell you - that i had ever worn them.

i am absolutely and completely disgusted and needing to putt mammoth effort in controlling my gag reflex. i come home and the shoe automatically goes on the balcony (taking it off before i enter my apt). now that shoe will stay there forever because i cannot bring myself to touch it and deal with dog doo since nast factor is massively high as the doo does not belong to a beloved pet. the funk and nasty texture indicate that these street dogs do not have a nutritious diet.

to make matters worse, that jerk continues to park on the sidewalk, endangering my life, my shoes, and my wallet (as i will need to continually replace dog doo infested shoes). that just aint right. so i keep feeling this overwhelming desire to key the SUV (maybe etching steaming piles of dog doo on that shiny new paint). so far i have managed to suppress these urges but i dont know how much longer i can control myself since i do this walk every day. after work, no less, which means that my tolerance level for asinine behavior (and impending shoe damage) is dangerously low.

beggar children

this is not a tale of rome and am promising to get some pics up by this weekend. begging is a big problem here and its really really sad. there are lots of old shrunken women (osteoporosis i guess) begging at the train stations or trying to sell booties and gloves theyve knit. you feel sorry for many because they are ones that have been forgotten by the state or totally left behind with the introduction of capitalism. your soviet pension doesnt go far when prices approach that of western countries. but i digress

this just came to mind cause i saw this group of kids again yesterday.

a few weeks ago, i was coming home and made a pit stop at the local jiffy. sometimes i need bananas and sometimes the chocolate calls my name something fierce. anyway, i passed a group of children - boys and girls 7 and younger. they look like theyd just came home from school, wearing backpacks and i assumed they belong to people living in my area. as i exit the jiffy, the group of kids stare at me, like hard. many are overwhelmed at seeing something they have never experienced before. but i continue on my way. they follow. am wearing a backpack but i feel something strike me. i turn around and i see on of them with a stick. i keep walking only to feel that again. this time i stop and growl with a stern look. i turn around and continue on home, only to feel it again. this time i turn around only to find myself dumbfounded. the children decide to demand money.

okay. i dont know who taught them, but this is the absolutely wrong way to beg for money. pitiful glances, attempts at looking cute and starving work, but not, i repeat, not intimidation. a little too young for the whole shakedown thing, especially when i am much bigger. so am thinking of using my many years of teaching experience to give something back to the community.

thats right! i'm beginning a begging school. someone's gotta teach em right.

back from rome

alas, i have returned to my normal life after a few days in rome. the semester had ended and i had a few days off. was feeling a little country cabin fever and felt that i desperately needed to to take a break. so i hoped on a plane for a city break to rome. yesterday i went back to work and it was very nearly bearable. was so tired from the trip.

Rome was totally and amazingly excellent.
Liked
- being inconspicuous
- lots and lots of art history stuff
- being bella
- lots and lots of history stuff
- random conversations with friendly people
- teacher's discount
- gelato

Saw/ did
- lots and lots of art history stuff: Bernini' sculptures, raphael and michelangelo's paintings, villa borghese, modern art, etc.
- lots and lots of normal history stuff: the vatican, st. pete's basilica, colosseum, temples and ruins, etc.
- backpacking nuns
- walked all over the city to the detriment of my feet
- disturbingly attractive priests
- lots of random places after getting used to (lost) the bus and tram system
- climbed lots of steps

i did so much that i felt like the trip was longer than 4 days. in the coming days, i will sift through the hundreds of pictures i've taken and will post them. truly. i promise

very important cabagge update

yes, this entry will deal with my newly (since moving to romania) acquired cabbage fixation!

okay so last week i started romanian language lessons again. i tried before and was so traumatized that i had to take a couple of months off to let the memory fade some. the lessons were two hours long - at nite with a blackboard and all of this information in this totally incomprehensible other language. after an hour and 15 minutes, my brain had shut off and all i heard was wawawawa. those last 45 minutes stretched to an eternity and y'all know i have all kinds of time issues.

anyway now i have private one hour lessons and i might learn a word or two in the next few months. this is a freaking difficult language so i've decided that grammar really doesnt count - dont believe anyone who tells you different. just string some words together and people will figure out what you mean. plus the whole phonetic thing means words are way long and the rolling 'R' thing is a bit difficult. i can do the 'R' but when there are Ls and so many syllables, its very hard going. exhibit a - aviatorilor. 6 syllables and 3 tongue trippy bits all at he end. my pronunciation of the first half of the word is freaking dead on amazing (at least, i think so). personally, i think we should change the word and drop off the difficult and unnecessary bits.

anyway, i now move on the good part - you know, the cabbage talk.

the great thing about private lessons is stopping and visiting some tangents as we meander towards some slight understanding on my part. today, it was cabbage (much of this was in romanian by the way) and i learned that ever since the ancient times (like the romans or something) the cabbage has been important to the romanian people. it is seen as like the best medicine for the body and can be used to cure many things. if you have arthritis or shoulder pain, sleep with cabbage touching the area and the pain will go away. also it is good for the digestive system. furthermore, you can totally pickle it!

am just saying