sidewalk rage

i dont think there have been any major and impressive publications on sidewalk rage, therefore, i shall initiate the discourse with this blog entry. (dude, am totally going where no . . . has gone . . .)

right. i am a nonviolent (mostly) person and recently have become a little disturbed by my internal (mental not intestinal) grumblings because i have been experiencing more instances which can lead to some serious sidewalk rage.

example - waiting for the tram (peacefully, i might add) and just as it pulls up, someone jumps in front of me, alights on the tram and manages to get that last damn seat. i just want to explode - yank them up, scream mightily, and take the seat that, rightfully, should be mine. i seem to be totally obsessed with trams.

example - why do people have to stop right in front of me and so something as asinine as pick their nose when i am in a hurry to be elsewhere? visions of a mighty shove and swift kick scroll through my mind like a really really urgent news ticker on CNN.

example - this is by far the worst one. mostly, i walk with my head down. you gotta if you wanna avoid the dog doo. but,oh no, here come the parking jerks to ruin my life. wanna park somewhere where there are no spots? why not just jump the curb and leave your SUV on the sidewalk (narrow) which i need to use in order to avoid the traffic on a fairly busy road?

so i squeeze by the SUV with my mind more on the squeezing than the walking, only to step away with huge globs of incredibly fresh, soft, and odoriferous dog doo. EFFING A man! the stuff works its way into all of the nooks and crannies on the underside of my shoe. to make matters worse, i had just bought the shoes and this was the first time, the FIRST time - i tell you - that i had ever worn them.

i am absolutely and completely disgusted and needing to putt mammoth effort in controlling my gag reflex. i come home and the shoe automatically goes on the balcony (taking it off before i enter my apt). now that shoe will stay there forever because i cannot bring myself to touch it and deal with dog doo since nast factor is massively high as the doo does not belong to a beloved pet. the funk and nasty texture indicate that these street dogs do not have a nutritious diet.

to make matters worse, that jerk continues to park on the sidewalk, endangering my life, my shoes, and my wallet (as i will need to continually replace dog doo infested shoes). that just aint right. so i keep feeling this overwhelming desire to key the SUV (maybe etching steaming piles of dog doo on that shiny new paint). so far i have managed to suppress these urges but i dont know how much longer i can control myself since i do this walk every day. after work, no less, which means that my tolerance level for asinine behavior (and impending shoe damage) is dangerously low.