cant beat 'em, so am looking to join

linking to the previous post regarding xmas music. i just came across this lovely bit of nausea inducing seasonal muzak consisting of Heidi Clum singing quite badly to insipid xmas music. the video includes shots of her and sleigh/snow scariness. if i had a heart, i would probably be moved to remember wonderful xmases spent with the fam cavorting in snow (there's lots of it in florida) and helping santa to spread sprinkles of joy and holiday spirit. unfortunately - and i use this with wry cynicism (like i know what that means) - i dont seem to. as a matter of fact, i was hard pressed to keep down my pizza.

but then, as i was watching it, i had a Eureka! moment. (i seem to have these often though they seem to get me nowhere). I CAN SING TOO!!! admittedly, sometimes when i sing dogs howl and cats screech, but i think that with the miracles of modern technology and xmas, my voice could be synthesized into something relatively painless, thereby allowing me to share all the xmas joy in my heart. i realize that i am not a famous victoria secret model with famous musician husband, but i think it can be done. i mean, xmas is a time for miracles and i think the i am truly channeling the spirit of the holidays when i say this this has the potential to be a monumentally ginormously huge hit.

i am currently composing songs and looking for investors. the album will be my opus and an operatic combination of Ziggy Stardust meets Tommy meets Guns and Roses (circa the drug addicted wife beating years when there was true talent in the band) meets the care bears and a dash of christmas nutmeg and cinnamon. basically the videos will include a super skinny redhead wearing lots of makeup and leather in a psychedelically animated background with snowflakes in the shapes of hearts and stars swirling maddeningly. i think that this paints a picture at least as attractive as heidi clum, if not more!

if anyone wants to bankroll the project, am waiting by the phone. you wont regret it.